So much to ask?

Is it too much to ask that I just want a little attention
I thought you could be different...
But I guess you can’t
You know I cut myself today right?
The first time in so many months
All because I don’t know what to think
Feel
I don’t know anything actually…
I am just so clueless, I am so weak
So juvenile… to think u could actually care about me
I wonder how many more mistakes I have to make
Before I bleed so much that I am dead
I hope it comes soon cause I hate it here…