Fire Light.

This is pretty much about a boyfriend who cheated on my. The first time i've ever been in love. I was a complete cynic, maybe even cold hearted. He kept pushing me, to show him my feelings, to tell him what i was thinking, even when i thought i had spilt everything to spill, he kept pushing, and i realised there was a lot more in my head than i thought. He took every emotion, for himself. We were either brilliant together, or we hated eachothers guts. But our fights were always verbal. We never actually did anything against eachother. We loved eachother and the thought of splitting never crossed either of our minds. Untill this. I found out he cheated two months ago. He couldn't tell me himself, he spilled it to a friend while he was drunk. And she told me. I broke up with him. I thought i'd be fine. I could do life without him, i could be the way i was before. But i couldn't, i was calm and collected for a day, then i saw him, and had a complete meltdown. I am the stubbornest person on earth, with too much pride. I swallowed all that pride. I begged.

I am disgusted at how pathetic i became.

But now i realise i have nothing left to lose in that sense anymore. I gave up my dignity when i gave in to him. So now i'm going to direct all that stubborness into fixing us. I hope to god he makes the same effort, wish me luck.