Tangled Up In Your Web

Your fooling mind games displease me.
You changed me, but I obviously didn't have the same effect on you.
The idea planted upside my forehead stated "love"
Never would've imagined at the time that "stupid" was written next it.

Started spinning me by the tip of my childish pony-tail
I was stuck on the tip of your finger
Trapped in your web.
Stuck there, oblivious to my surrounding world
My heart was warmed with your wonderful words
I wanted to keep my secure place forever

Our lives hidden.
We were seperated by crucial laws.
It didn't matter. He had me. No law could keep us away.
Running across our tight rope, I felt safe.
The chills of his subtle words of love.
Nothing could knock us down.
He had my back and I knew that I had his.

Most we ever did was talk.
Talk for hours.
I would leave him waiting, telling him he would have me shortly.
I left him for too long at a time.
It was breaking him down, but I knew he would wait.
Never could I think of him leaving me be.

He was the one that found me.
I didn't need finding, I was okay.
I know I would've always been alright without him.
This boy I knew so well after months of sharing our feelings,
I knew him as a luxury.
Nothing I needed. Just someone I wanted.

My safe foundation was gone.
I never came close to thinking about those walls knocking down.
It was a surprise. A shock. A foriegn tragedy.

Soft words he spoke of.
So caring. He was so caring.
He was so thoughtful as to hurt me gently.
Of course we could still be friends.
Doesn't everyone stay friends?

I was falling.
My hands tried to reach for our "secure" rope after he pushed me off.
No, it happened too fast, with such a force.
At the time I couldn't see anything below. No one to catch my fall.
Drifting, wind blowing in my tear covered face, aimlessly for so long.

Now, nearly eight months of recovery has left me to a certain point.
Sitting so close to you daily.
Studying you as you play mind games on me.
Sending out looks of pure jealousy, piercing the other gals you joke with.

We are friends.
I hope that you would call us that aswell, nothing less.
Trying to show as much charm as I can towards you.
I feel pathetic.
Absolutely pathetic.

My bruises, red marks, and cuts resemble you.
Not abuse. Never abuse.
Your simple, buddy-buddy punches in my shoulder blade.
Slaps on my head.
Smacks on my cheeks while reaching across me to another gal.
It is all attention in my eyes.
I crave it. I crave the thought you give me.

I found the end of the so called "endless" pit.
Could've been worse.
I'm still crawling on my knees.
Searching.
I'm searching for a scribbled out note of apology.
A note informing me that it was a joke. A cruel one at that.
And maybe, just maybe, a part of our tight rope I can climb back up with.

Once I find him again, his apology, I will denie him.
My hair is worn in a bun.
No room for his spinning finger.
One lap around our tight rope circle is enough for me.
At least for now.
Tommorow we might run off to Jamaica together.
You never know...