Another Meltdown

Another day, another night of feeling alone.
Sitting in my room as I stare at the bright screen of my iPod.
Waiting for a reply from my best friend, the only one that understands me.

I'm trying to hold in the tears.
My throat aching with the effort as a few slip, silently down my cheeks.
A wave of sadness washing over me, choking the smile from my face.

How could I feel like this?
I had my friends, but I felt alone.
Isolated and pushed away.
I felt panic stricken and worn out.

Finally I let the tears fall, only for my eyes to blur.
Holding onto hope that maybe, maybe something would happen.
Something would bring me out of this slump.
Something that would help this aching feeling.

My own emotions were my enemies
as they wrapped around my neck.
I could feel it, choking the happiness out of me.

The happy couple's dancing in my head,
as if they were tormenting my single status.
Their smiling faces peel back, the skin tearing.
Their skeletal bones peeking out from the torn flesh.
Taunting and teasing, the tears falling faster.

I wanted to sob, I wanted to cry.
I wanted to yell, I wanted to die.
But I knew I couldn't.
I couldn't end my life. I had so much to live for.
So much to accomplish.

Just starting college, I'm getting my future in order.
I have my family, my nieces and nephews.
I have my best friend, my sister, my 'wife.'
I couldn't leave them, I knew.

I knew that I had to hold on and fight this meltdown.
Just like any other ones that I will have.
I will not let them get me, because I am strong.
With everyone by my side I can conquer them.
Hopefully to not have another meltdown