Darkness

I don't cant recall a time
when I was last truly happy
The smile is a lie
And my laugh is really crappy

If someone would just look,
right beneath the surface
I am hurting deep inside
pain burning like a furnace.

I used to laugh at those,
who cut away their pain.
who shot away their grief.
who drowned themselves in rain.

But I'm not the same person,
the little girl you knew,
the one laughin' and cursin'
my heart has been struck through

So I'll cut a little deeper
With more purpose in each strike
I feel the pain upon me
But I must repeat with might

Today was the first time,
I have ever tried to cut
At first the pain stung me,
but then it just felt right

I know I might not stop
until I get caught or die
I will keep this my little secret
I will just have to try...