Nightmares on my Wrist

Razors, knifes, blades, scissors, metal,
I look over at the hollow walls that I’ve made my prison,
Only air holes make me think of the old life I was scared of,
Now, I’m here in this room with everything I used to crave for,
I have a schedule,
Not to cut,

I hear cries late at night,
I can feel the blood rushing in my veins,
I look at the cuts,
The new one from last night and the old from eight months ago,
I couldn’t stop myself,
I felt like I was on top of the world,

The world spins around me in circles that never seem to end,
I hold onto my wrist for dear life,
I have a razor on my pillow,
My heart skips a few beats,
And I fall to the hard floor underneath me,

For once I’m scared of the other side,
Only I want to go there to say hi to him,
To tell him I miss him,
I want him to know that I cut because I wanted him,
I never forgave myself for not saying anything,
Another cut,

Blood runs down my tender arm,
I can’t exhale,
I keep the numb feeling there for a few minutes,
I smile at my award for living,

KILL ME NOW,
One arm has it written in fresh blood,
FORGIVE ME,
Says the other,
I exhale,

I sit with the others,
Some eat,
Most don’t,
I cut or I used to,
The hospital got tired of me,
I couldn’t feel anything,
My mom and brother hate me,

Now, I’m here facing the nightmares on my wrist,
It’s about time I surfaced to reality,
I’m through with nightmares,
As long as I stay here I’ll heal,
No more nightmares,
Healed wrists,

I get to hear my mom say, “Goodnight.”
And I slip into my dreams.