Numb

Being numb is not feeling pain,
I close my eyes while I sit in the rain.
Feeling nothings not always nice,
Sometimes it feels as cold as ice.

You left me hear all alone,
Tears shed no more on my own.
Miss you more than you’ll ever know,
Sometimes thats just the way to go.

Numb, without feeling all the time.
Feeling numb wasn’t worth the time.
No pain, No love, No you and me.
Why does this just keep happening.

My love is a lie, I lie out of love.
Speak the truth, it’ll be enough.
Sometimes it feels like I’m more than alone.
This time numb feelings are set in stone.

I protect you by lying to my self, I don’t love you
I promise you by lying to myself, I don’t love you.
I feel numb when I lie to myself, I don’t love you.
Because I love you inside.

When I lie to myself my strength turns to weakness.
When I like to you I feel numb.
I tell you I don’t love you, but inside you know.
They’ll be nothing without you to show.

Lying and crying are to different things,
All wrapped up in a deadly ring.
Sadness becomes dangerous,
Eating away at my heart.

I feel you here when you’re really there,
My scars left only on the outside.
I hope you don’t mind. I can’t lie, I’ve tried.
To love but feel numb inside.

Nerve endings useless,
No sense in sleeping.
Scared and alone,
Though I’m only dreaming.

Shaking and screaming,
Nearly demeaning.
Train of thoughts lost its way,
Confused as to night or day.

Numb is feeling nothing
Feeling so much more.
I dropped to my knees while you,
You closed this open door.

My life line,
A dead line.
Dead end to say the least.
I must admit, To the beast inside at least.

Heart rate increasing,
Dignity deceasing.
Breaking a long lived promise,
To myself.

I’ve let myself go,
All that I’ve worked for.
Let my life slip,
Crawling back for more.

Addicted to this thing,
Call love thats not real.
I’ve given myself up,
Up for a price but a steal.

The blade Hits the spot,
The sting of the metal.
The scars inside, Not nearly as deep.
Finally left to an everlasting peaceful sleep.

I awake to a sound going, beep, beep, beep.
The doctors tell someone not to wake me,
I’m not dead I’m asleep.
Disappointment in myself and in you too.

I’ve lost the ongoing numb battle.
Of not knowing what to do.
I peel my eyes open,
See a flash of light.

Thats when I see you,
Nearly out of sight.
You see me looking, contemplating the chances.
I look in your eyes when I see you stealing glances.

Eventually you get the nerve up to talk.
“I love you so much babe. Have no fear.
For I won’t leave you alone here my dear.”
My mind is spinning and spinning gears.

“I love you too.” is all I can say,
For my throat is dry, from my hope and distain.
Your lips against mine, feels better than before
I can’t stay here alone anymore.

“Don’t tell me you love me if you have to leave.”
My mind says. ‘please don’t leave me here to grieve.’
My heart rate quickens as you start to turn away.
I’m barely living off each breath to stay.

Physically I’ve been alive,
Mentally gone for ages.
With all the life in my a strive.
Switch the Gadges.

In your arms I come to life,
The thought of you leaving me,
This near grave sight.

Your hand in mine,
My mind in the sky.
Your lips touch mine once more,
Releasing butterflies.

The numb is no more.
I no longer lie about my love.
No more fear inside.
You are my guide.