Why Am I Here?

I'm always treating others before me
And they are all happy that I do
But when I need someone to do the same
It's like no one cares
Not even you

Yet there is only one who will do it
And that is the one whom I love the most
That person is my boyfriend
He is the only one who cares, loves, and wants the best for me
But you don't and get mad at me for feeling like crap
This is why I can't wait to leave

I feel like I have to care for others and be happy
Even when I'm not
Yet when you don't wanna be happy
You can be unhappy
But I'm not allowed

Well, I'm done
With having to always be happy
I want to feel unhappy
But, of course, you'll be there
Just to crush my want
And make me stop this "nonsense"
And I have to listen or else
So why am I even here?