Thirst

Here I am looking up at you for the very first time..
I see the eyes of a man...
A kind, caring, gentle man...
I was wrong..

His kids were born three months early...
Everyone is surprised we survived...
We are fighters..
We are strong...
But at times we can fall down....

He took my families life turned it into a living hell...
My mother.. What a wonderful person she is..
He hurt her,
He didn't abuse her....
But he was never a husband or a father..
No he wasn't...
She fell in love with a man that she thought would be different...
She wanted her kids to have a father..
But that never worked....

My brother... He is different from most...
He is my other half... literally..
He's my twin...
He is autistic...
He's been pushed around all his life,
I was his helping arm.....
All through his life...
15 years later..
I still am...
Even though we fight a lot... And can never get along...
I love him with all my heart...
And would die without him... </3

Me....
What have you done to me...
There is many things I could say... But only the mager things I'll display...
You left us when I was 3...
You took my heart and tore a part out...
Ive never known what it was like to have a father...
Never known what it is like to have a father love you so...
This shouldn't hurt me so bad...
But it has....
There is nothing you can do...
Nothing you can say to change anything throughout these 15 years...

You don't know me!
And I wish sometimes I never knew you...
You've made me cry so many tears...
You've made me hurt so many times...
I've started to go numb...
I don't feel a thing anymore..
All I feel is anger...
I don't know what to do....
I don't know what to call you...
Your not my dad..
Never will be...
I'm sorry but..
It's true..

One day,
Life will come crashing down on you...
I will have a little laugh,
But I know it won't do any good...
I feel bad for you..
For missing out on everything...
Seeing us grow up...
You've never seen any of that...

When you die...
I shall cry...
Because...
Even though I may hate you at times..
I do love and care for you...
Even if you don't love and care for me....

I thirst for you to feel the pain I feel...
But I know that will never happen...
I have some of the same qualities as you...
That bothers me to bits....
My eye color is the same as yours..
When I look in a mirror,
All I see is you.....

I want the pain to go away....
I want the regret to fad away....
I want the thirst to run away....
With everything to... </3