On the store shelf

(Baldy, the lotion container): "I am so bored! When is somebody going to buy us?" (Angry)

(Problem, the ash jar): "Would you just shut up. You've done nothing but complain for the past year! That's why nobody's bought us! They can't stand your petty whining!"

(Annoyed)

(Baldy): Well it's not my fault nobody wants to buy you stupid ash jars anymore." (Dejected)

(Problem): Would you just be shut up. God, you're so annoying! (Hops away, and turns his back)

(Baldy): (Hops after him) we are not supposed to move remember. Somebody might see us!

(Problem): (turns around to face him) just leave me alone. I don't care anymore. Maybe if somebody sees me moving, they'll come buy me. Then I won't have to sit here and listen to you anymore! (Annoyed)

(Penny, the paper doll): Hey, somebody's coming into the store!

(Winnie the Pooh, stuffed animal): Everybody act natural! Get back in your places! Stuffed animals look cute and cuddly! We have a Code 3 in process! I repeat we have a Code 3! Baldy! Problem! Get back in your places and quit arguing (Sounds like a Military Commander) (Everybody rushes to get back in their places)

(Baldy and (Problem both hop back to their original positions at the end of the shelf)

(Pooh bear): Everybody act like things! Not people!

(Penny screams)

(Pooh bear): Penny what's the matter? Are they going past the store?

(Penny): No worse! She's got twins! They're still infants!

(Pooh, Baldy, and Problem scream)

(Baldy): I don't want to get broken!!! I don't want to get broken!!! (Panicking, hopping around like a frantic dog)

(Pooh): They're gonna go for the shiny and cuddly things. I'm a goner! Do any of you know what infants do to stuffed animals? They suck on our ears, and our paws. They tug!

I'll be ripped apart! (Sits on edge, covers face with paws and begins to sob)

(Problem): (Hops over to Pooh) its okay Pooh Bear. You can hide in the very back of the shelf with me and Baldy and they won't ever see you. You can hide behind the cobwebs. Nobody would ever look back there. (Soothingly)

(Pooh): You really think so Problem? (Wipes eyes)

(Problem, hops up and down, shelf shakes): Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Nobody's ever seen me and Baldy back there!

(Baldy, teetering on edge of shelf): Problem! Problem! I'm going to fall! (Loses balance) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (Crashes to floor and shatters)

(Problem hops over to edge of shelf and peers over edge): Well, don't have to listen to his whining anymore. Oh, well. (Hops to back of shelf and hides next to Pooh)
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Written: 4/25/05. It's supposed to make you laugh