Haven't Decided

I can only see your lies. I can only hear your face.
Doesn't make sense. Uh? No.
You never made sense to me.
Now. Just now am I finding out all you had to hide.
Seven years has gone and past.
Seven years without you by my side.
Seven years with nights filled with blood and tears.
Your life was just a tale to be told.
She found the letter you wrote. She found it the day you died. Left me here.
I'm sorry that he did that to you.
I tried to blame that on you drug use. All the horrible shit you did.
Maybe that’s what caused your suicide?
Maybe that’s why the drugs took you over. Made you into a monster.
But I just can’t get over the fact that you weren’t perfect. You were perfect through my blinded eyes.
I haven’t decided if I feel sorry for you. Not yet.
Maybe I’m happy you left your fucked up life behind.
Now I’m here to pick up the shattered mess.
I'll never discover the truth.
You took it to your gave.