Goodbye New Beginning

I wish I could write you a lovesong,
I wish I could find the rhythm in my heart
I wish we could dance in my kitchen
For the rest of forever

I can't pretend that I won't hurt you
I can't hold out my hand and say 'trust me'
Because I've proven over and over that
Its better to not trust me, not to let me too close

Could you just skip
The hard part
And call me a liar, and send me away
Can you just tell me that
I'm not good enough now
Before anyone gets hurt

I wish I could write you a lovesong,
I wish I could find the rhythm in my heart
I wish we could dance in my kitchen
For the rest of forever

Can we take back those words
Those precious minutes, hours, days
That we spent saying hello, without a goodbye
Can we pretend I wasn't a wreck when we met
Someone so hopelessly head over heels
For a boy not worth my time
And pretend you didn't see me so vulnerable

Maybe I shouldn't have told you
Everything that I did
Maybe I should've just stayed that
Mysterious girl
Kept that image for a moment longer
And maybe we wouldn't have had this problem

Yes, this is a problem
We can both deny it but it doesn't make it
Any less true
But you sang to me
And with that I felt for a moment okay
I felt safe

Maybe if we didn't have such similar senses of humor
And maybe if we didn't like the same cartoons
Or if our parents didn't ever meet,
Yeah, thats it, we can blame them
Maybe if we blamed our parents this could change

I don't want to be with you,
I want to be close to you
I want to hear you breathe
And I want to touch your hair.

Oh, what will I tell him?
You know I love him
I've made that clear right?
I can't remember if I ever even mentioned him
I guess it's because you made me happy
You make me forget pain

I wish I could write you a lovesong,
I wish I could find the rhythm in my heart
I wish we could dance in my kitchen
For the rest of forever

Do you want to know why I can't write you a song?
It's because in order to write a lovesong
You have to say hello,
You have to fall in love
But just like every song ends
Every feeling fades
Every hello meets a goodbye

Every I love you ends with I hate you
Every kiss ends with a tear
Every hug a stabbing pain to the heart
Every laugh a nightmare
And every hopeful glance ends as a shard of broken heart

I'm not sure if I'm hurting
Or if maybe I'm content
Theres a slight chance this feeling is happy
So let's leave it here
Let's leave it as friends, not even close ones

Ignore every time when we pause
Staring at each other but feeling nothing
But the beating of our hearts
And the need to be closer
Now every time I look away at a moment like that
I won't have to wonder what could've been
What could've happened if I kept holding my breath

I wish I could write you a lovesong,
I wish I could find the rhythm in my heart
I wish we could dance in my kitchen
For the rest of forever
But lovesongs only happen after you say
Hello and they end after you say Goodbye
So say so long to those moments
To those thoughtless moments
Of laughter

So long,
The beginning that never came
That will never come.