I just can't do this to my self

The sharp knife sits in front of me,
taunting me, scaring me.
I think to myself, "should i do this to myself,
is it gonna make me feel better?"
I reach for the knife
I start to think again. "My mom will be so mad
and if some one at school sees..."
I take the knife and put it back in it's right full place,
and walk away feeling stronger.
Thinking "I will never, ever do that to myself
no matter what people say about me.
No matter if he says no, no matter what
i will stay strong."