goodbye note

i dont know if i can do this anymore.
living this lie.
its just not me
its hard to explaine what i really mean,
hiding secrets is one of my strong points,
but what if mabeey..
mabeey i dont want to hide them anymore.
i love you.
its hard.
its complicated.
i smile when i talk to you.
i laugh when you tell me about them.
i feel like ive known them forever when you talk about them.
i feel like nothing has gone wrong,
when fact is,
that everything,
is wrong.
too many secrets.
theres only so much i can take.
and i think this is the limit.
resorting to cutting,
pushing people away,
not talking,
being depressed all the time.
its not your fault.
but its too overwhelming for me.
i cant take anymore.
everyone tells me all about there life.
whats going on in their life.
what they want me to do about it.
all there problems
to keep there secrets.
but what about me.
everyone elses stuff swimming in my head.
where is the room for myself?
where are all my problems going?
with everyone telling me about all there stuff
where is the time for me to worry about me?
when is there time for me to think about me?
i cant do this anymore.
its just not me.
this is not a suicide note...
its a goodbye note..