This Is Not the First Time

This is not the first time
I have lain awake at night
unable to sleep.

This is not the first time
that my pillow has been stained
by my salty tears.

This is not the first time
my head has throbbed and ached
from the war fought inside it.

This is not the first time
my body has hurt and cried
because I made it.

This is not the first time
I have lain awake at night
and nor will it be the last.