what you made me. ps. karma's a bitch
you can call me immature,
you can call me stupid
and i guess you can even call me love drunk.
i honestly don't know what i was on.
you were basically my angel.
someone to protect me when something happened
or even in my darkest hour.
or just to hold me when i needed it.
we spoke about the future,
we spoke about marriage,
we even spoke about having kids.
i honestly couldn't wait for it all to become reality.
you never quite believed i loved you.
why not?
because i didn't take topless pictures for you?
because i didn't want to have sex with you?
or because i could never see you?
but i guess you never cared about how i felt.
that whenever i would stop talking to you for the night
i'd end up crying myself to sleep thinking that you'd go through
with your daily suicide threat due to whatever stupid reason.
or that i picked up my razor more times in those few months that i did in 2 years?
guess you never cared that i constanty broke down
and that my parents were always asking me what was wrong
until the point that i would fight with them everyday
or even that i would constanty vent to friends about
everything you had said to me the night before.
i should have listened to them.
i should have listened to when they told me to dump you,
i should have listened when they said you would leave
i also should have listened when they told me you werent worth it.
but stupid little me i didn't listen.
but then you tell me on to talk to certain friends and accusing me of cheating.
cheating with someone i would call my brother.
then i tell you that i had an eating disorder. you were wrong,
it wasn't in my head. i wasn't faking to get attention and i definately wasn't lying.
when we broke up,
you told everyone and everyone i was a slut when i obviously wasn't.
i never reacted. it made me the bigger person.
yet you threatened to hit me and to end my life.
and now as i'm sitting here writing this,
i'm sitting here laughing that you are currently sitting in hospital
due to a dislocated jaw.
i guess that someone finally gave you what you deserve.
in a way i'm sorry for laughing but in the end,
its what you made me :)
you can call me stupid
and i guess you can even call me love drunk.
i honestly don't know what i was on.
you were basically my angel.
someone to protect me when something happened
or even in my darkest hour.
or just to hold me when i needed it.
we spoke about the future,
we spoke about marriage,
we even spoke about having kids.
i honestly couldn't wait for it all to become reality.
you never quite believed i loved you.
why not?
because i didn't take topless pictures for you?
because i didn't want to have sex with you?
or because i could never see you?
but i guess you never cared about how i felt.
that whenever i would stop talking to you for the night
i'd end up crying myself to sleep thinking that you'd go through
with your daily suicide threat due to whatever stupid reason.
or that i picked up my razor more times in those few months that i did in 2 years?
guess you never cared that i constanty broke down
and that my parents were always asking me what was wrong
until the point that i would fight with them everyday
or even that i would constanty vent to friends about
everything you had said to me the night before.
i should have listened to them.
i should have listened to when they told me to dump you,
i should have listened when they said you would leave
i also should have listened when they told me you werent worth it.
but stupid little me i didn't listen.
but then you tell me on to talk to certain friends and accusing me of cheating.
cheating with someone i would call my brother.
then i tell you that i had an eating disorder. you were wrong,
it wasn't in my head. i wasn't faking to get attention and i definately wasn't lying.
when we broke up,
you told everyone and everyone i was a slut when i obviously wasn't.
i never reacted. it made me the bigger person.
yet you threatened to hit me and to end my life.
and now as i'm sitting here writing this,
i'm sitting here laughing that you are currently sitting in hospital
due to a dislocated jaw.
i guess that someone finally gave you what you deserve.
in a way i'm sorry for laughing but in the end,
its what you made me :)