No Longer

Empty, lost, alone…
What I’ve written of before
I want to start all over,
Go back to the beginning,
To die and live again
But first I have to end it all…

My haunting words of the past,
My memories of dreams and smiles,
My beating heart and breathing lungs

I speak to hear only my words
For no one will truly hear
And no one chooses to listen

I look but only see nothing
For my eyes are drowned in tears
And no one else can see

I breathe only to keep on living
For no one will take it away
Not my breath, not my life, nothing

I listen but all I hear is silence
And no one has spoken
Nor do they choose to say

I clear my eyes to see
But the stream flows too fast
And there is not a sea to hold it

I cease my pointless breaths
But I don’t have a choice to stop
An empty life is still a life

Because I die and come back to life inside
I cannot articulate even the slightest how I feel

If
There is no answer when a question is unasked,
No happiness if sadness is not felt,
No reflection when a mirror is broken,
No gain if loss is not felt.

Everything goes around in a circle that starts with a beginning
And finishes with an end
So let us say our farewells and good-byes

No longer will I speak and be returned my words
No longer will I look so hard and see nothing
No longer will I question the rhythm of my existence
No longer will I keep this mystery so enigmatic

This mystery…
That seemed to be a thousand years ago,
That forced me to be like this
If I only could have it no longer and let go of a troubled mind
Maybe I could open my eyes and breathe right
And my words would be just that meaningful

Your orange skies would be my sunset
And your starry skies my shadowy escape
You wouldn’t fall off the world for the mystery
I would
I would let my fingers go from the ledge
“Good-bye.”
And finally, everything would just fit and be right

But in the end, I cannot bring myself to say… “No longer.”