Darling, You're Dead To Me

Quite honestly, to the precise point, I miss you Love. I miss all the things we never really had but I always desired for us. We were close, but never close enough. But Darling, I settled. It began with my heart holy shattered for you; and what would be more fitting than for it to end as it so began?
End.
Cease.
Stop.
The words burn through my thoughts with every intention of singeing me to the umpteenth degree. But where have you gone? Why have you left?
I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care.
I’ve nothing short of died with my gradual, say lack of you. Internally numb, lifeless; grief-stricken agony consumes my being, threatening replacement upon your ice-cold affection.
Affection. If only you knew such a meaning.
Love, what gnashes at me the deepest remains the many memories of us, slowly disintegrating like the remains of you that lie six feet below my dismal frame, knelt longingly at your grave. Oh if only soiled ground was all that kept us apart.
Apart.
Distanced.
Dissociated.
And in one fell swoop a surge of anger flows through my icy veins. How could you leave me here?
I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care.
Adrenaline.
Uncontainable,
Uncontrolled
Adrenaline rushes through my coldened fingers as they clench around the wall of dirt you so willingly allowed to separate us. Oh but you don’t think I’ll get to the bottom of this, Darling? Well you are gravely mistaken. No, I am clawing my way through the thickened dirt in determined anguish; do I truly want to know? Must I force my eyes upon what is left of you, my wayward love?
The rhetorical venom seeps through in ignited stitches, threatening my very sanity.
Sanity, it leaves my body through warm, crimson blood escaping from my frantic fingers. It seems the dirt is cementing the closer to you I become. Who knew the past would be so difficult to reach?
As if I’m fighting for my life….Oh but truly, am I not?
I ceased my breathing when you ceased your care.
After seemingly years of devoted piercings to the ground, I cast my hollow eyes upon your visible, withered frame. Your frail body lies inanimate in my gradually numbing arms.
Inanimate.
Inert.
Quiescent.
My tears stream down like burning blades, falling upon your ever-dismal face, as realization penetrates through my every pore, goring me with agonizing truth of your death in the form of apathetic betrayal. For so long I have sacrificed my very being to merely brighten your rainy days. Darling, who was there, holding you, when your demons lashed and gnarled their hideous fangs in attempt to “end your suffering”? They left you hanging by a thread, screaming out….
No! You can’t! Please Love, please come back. Don’t leave me here with all my failed attempts to save you. Stop! Wake up! You could end this all with a mere, sincere phrase you wouldn’t dare mutter from your icy lips. Darling,
I miss you.
I miss.
I….without you.
Oh the vain of such phrased.
I ceased my breathing when you ceased you care.
Oh such a pity your lifeless frame lacks the detection of fractured venom in my pleading voice. It lacks my very being. What a sight we must be; my pathetic commitment to a ghost outlived twined with your frigid, ruptured heart….or lack thereof.
No one need witness such an unfortunate masquerade; for they could not fathom envisioning all that is held in our wake. So may the cemetery gates serve as masquerade masks for our beloved tragedy.
Now fall the masks.
Now close the gates.
Now close the curtain.
You may have ceased your breathing, but I will never cease my care.