Butterfly

Where is joy?
Is it somewhere I can't see?
Does it come in a box or package of some kind?
Where am I supposed to look to find this myth I seek?
Maybe I'm just to far down.....
Way down underground....
To truly see everything clearly...
To even know if it's been found...
I feel so angry all the time.
So sad and lonely to...
I've never felt such things as these...
That's much worse then any flue....
I feel so fake...
I'm not myself...
Or maybe this IS me...
No.
My inheritance of joy from God I know, is completely free.
I never have to earn it like everything else in this world...
But maybe I'm just a caterpillar right in my cacoone all curled...
Going threw changes...
Emotions included...
But by the time the time is right
I'll be that happy butterfly
And fly with all my might.