Alone

You want me to say how I feel?
You want to know what's in my head?
The tides are turning, the waves are crashing,
And you're the one who fled.

I'm walling off,
I see that I'm changing.
I no longer care,
Who else is caring, who else is changing.

I told you I was done,
I gave up that day.
I turned into my little shell.
Sick and tired of, "Have it your way."

I'm soon feeling something,
That only causes pain.
So I'll bow my head and walk in silence,
Instead of forever feeling drained.

I have heard what you said,
And I know your words ring true.
But heart and mind have both shut up,
Instead of feeling pain, and despair too.

She walked away that day.
Not the first and probably not the last.
You wonder why I always wall off,
Hurry Dad..think fast.

So no obligations huh,
What the fuck does that mean?
You tell me that you still love me,
Yet you choose to leave.

I refuse to pretend
That I'm okay with what you did.
I can't unsee what has been seen before,
My unkind mind can't be rid.

And as for you dad,
What happened to you?
You tell me I'm wrong
To feel as I do.

She is the one who left,
She broke both our hearts.
Yet I'd be wrong if I walled off from her,
and I'd be the one to claim the fault.

You say we are a family.
And to this I reply,
Where is the family of which you speak?
Cause there is no family here that involves I.

We are broken, shattered, hurt, and pained
When all is said and done.
I put up the wall to get away from all this
The game never ends with fun

I'll end my morbid poem,
With a question to you all.
Would you rather feel the pain of your heart breaking,
Or would you rather feel nothing at all?