Unintentional Poem

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life
I don't think I've ever been this scared before
Plagued by nightmares and haunting words
Triggers and urges and thoughts that won't leave
My hope fades as tears fall in rivers down my face
I'm unraveling slowly as I try desperatley to that one last thread
The weight is too heavy and I'm afraid to fall
Scratching at the surface trying to ecsape this everlasting darkness
This is not the person I want to be
It's been too long since they last saw me smile
I'm so tired of this constant fight
I'm ready to be free
I don't want to return, sliding down into a pit of despair
I feel like I'm screaming on the inside
This is not how it was supposed to be
I try so hard to hide because reality is cruel and I'm terrified to be alone in my own head
I just beg for some relief
I thought I was getting better but it was just an illusion
I have to wonder if I'll ever see the light
I cry aloud for someone to save me
I'm struggling on my own and I feel that time is running out
I can't stand to hear it anymore saying it gets better but it takes a while
I am lost and confused and conflicted
Should I spill and purge my secrets or will the truth be my downfall?
I cannot tell the future
I have no crystal ball
I'm afraid to picture myself happy because depression has claimed my very identity
I'm afraid to think there is no hope for me because I don't really want to die, I just want this pain to end
Give me a sign from heaven and rescue me before it's too late