I Hate It

I hate that he doesnt like me back.
They all say he does but i doubt them.
I doubt myself.
Why?
I hate that we are only friends.
That thats what we'll always be.
Because i'm to afraid.
To take a risk and ask.
To just ask.
Ask the question that holds so much power.
That has so much leverage over me.
I hate not knowing.
Being uncertain,
Of whether or not he feels the same.
I hate the uneasiness that comes with not knowing.
I hate that i am not in control of how i feel about him.
Its more than simply liking a guy.
Its like liking a friend.
It all started by becoming friends with him,
When i didnt even really know him.
How can something so simple,
Turn into something so complicated?
I hate it.
But i most definitely dont hate him.