The Laughs Through My Lips Are Lies

I’m crushed
But I’m whole
Two parts within
Struggle
For dominance
The part that wants him back
And the part that gives him the single finger salute
Only one side I show
The other is pushed down
Out of sight
So as no one knows
All of you try to help
But you can’t
All you can do is give me space
Crying one second
Laughing the next
I need this time
To think
To sort my emotions
I don’t need questions
I don’t need rebounds
I don’t need other people’s problems to solve
I love you
But right now
I need to work on myself
I need love not fighting
I need time not quick fixes
Please understand
That I don’t
So help me understand
What even I don’t about myself
And please don’t
Confuse me further
The smile on my face is painted on
The laughs from my lips are lies
So please understand
This is something I need to do alone
You can’t help me
So please let me think
Just please leave me be for a while
I may come back to you
I may not
Give me the benefit of the doubt
Please be there when I need a hug
And understand that
When I don’t,
I need some space