Foolishly Fragile

Reaching up into the skyline until I am there
trying not to notice how incredibly miniscule my existence is
wondering what is the point
why should I try?
I will not try any longer.

Then I think, you, I want you
the most

Fall down with a thump that leaves me blue
crying out to the unknown asking who I should... could, be
taking refuge in my own absence
hoping my invisibility will be noticed
and intrigue you
to find me.

Then I think, I am foolish, a foolish teenager longing to be in love
again

So I go to prove that I am as much a fool as the rest
give myself to the stranger I know best
become a puppet to please his strange desires
for what he feels he needs I hardly desire and rebelled against
once... those pittiful moments that mock me
when my heart strings were pulling me out of thoughts of doubt
then fear of being used made me resist
when I wanted to let go of everything
more than anything
everything accept you.

Then I think, I am not cliche, I am smart, and yet I am weak

I see it as I stand in front of the mirror naked
see a skinny and lost girl struggling to remember, knowing she needs to forget
whose hair refuses to hide her face enough to bring her comfort
a girl who once belonged to another and now belongs to many
to him completely, to her a little, and him too and even to them one day
one fragile day
if I give myself to many then no one person can hurt me
and this seems safe

Then I know I am wrong, then I want to be wrong, then the wrong feels right