It's Not Okay

I liked you from the start
But you never knew
I gave subtle hints
As my lust for you grew

I watched you at your games
I even said hi too
It took me so much courage
To approach a boy like you

I was so terribly shy
But still, I would say hi
You responded with a smile
You are such a beguiling guy

I really, really liked you,
I thought I would have a shot
Yep, you sure shot me down…
I should’ve given some forethought

Why did you avoid my eyes?
You said you’re not “going that way”
Heartbroken and speechless
I tell myself it’s okay

But now you’re with some girl
A ditzy, gorgeous sophomore
The kissing and hand-holding
Isn’t easy to ignore

I’m afraid it won’t last long
I’ll give you until mid-May
I’m trying to forget you
I keep saying it’s okay.

I wanted you so badly,
But I will never have you
I know I’m not your type
And will never be equivalent to.

And it’ll never really be okay