Perfect nightmare

Sometimes it comes out of the blue. Sometimes.
Now it comes daily.
They think they can make a difference.
No they can't. They can keep looking for it, but they will never find it.
They wish they could've done something.
Their words just keep fading.
They heal slowly. They darken everyday.
Why would i want to waste my time telling them about my fucking feelings?
It feels like I'm running around in circles and just losing this endless game.
It's my addiction. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to.
I don't know how i got here.
Why am I in this fucking place?
My heart is crashing. My blood is dripping. My veins are open.
This is the ending to the perfect nightmare.