Confessions

I confess to hurting you over and over again
I confess to being devastated when you said we would never be friends
I confess to being too proud to ever say I'm sorry
I confess to being too ashamed to ever admit I am worried

I confess that I am not as strong as people think I am
I confess that I am a liar, I actually do give a damn
I confess that I get scared my friends will get bored with me and leave
I confess that I am too closed off to wear my emotions on my sleeve

I confess that I have done a lot more wrong than I have right
I confess that I actually like to fight
I confess that I feel I have to hold my head high
I confess that I think it's weak to break down and cry

I confess that I wonder how you could do that to me
I confess that I question our friendship ever since it took you so long to see
I confess that I have not forgiven you
I confess that I tell myself to stop caring, but I never do

I confess that I flinch internally when people ask if I'm okay
I confess that I have avoided saying what I have to say
I confess that thinking of you now makes me literally ill
I confess that it disgusts me to know that I want you in my life still