the sensations of the blade

You know I'm slightly insane..
But I was okay with that until I met him..
And then I realized I wasn't insane I was just addicted to the rush.
The feel of the blade in my hand.
Finally having a bit of control for once.
And just that feeling of bliss when I see the Red pour out..
Is almost enough to make me want to start again..

I wish I knew how to Explain how you made me feel..
The Pressure is building and I want to return to you.
I want to return but I know if I do.. I won't be able to stop..
I hate everyone worrying about me..
It's all your fault that they do..
They know how you make me feel..
They all know the addiction you created.
He feels more faith in my ability to not return to you than I do..

I'm praying he's right.
I want you to know I don't need you anymore..
I just want you..
Can I ever escape this awful condition?
I wish I could Just get far away from you..
As far as anyone can get..
But I have a feeling you'll always stay on my mind..