being beat
April 27, 2005
Sitting in a dungeon, in court
I see the lawyer stand up and shout
"May the main witness please step forth"
Heads turn as a fragile figure stands up
That figure is none other than me
It's time to show the world my beautiful ways
Show all that I can only see
Moments after I'm bombarded with questions
All about my father's horrid ways
Without a choice I'm forced to look back
And remember those dreadful days
"I've been beaten since I was 10 years old
What more is there to say
He made my life a living hell
And I prayed he'd go away"
"And he did when you were 13 years old?"
"Yeah, and with him left my strife
Those three short years that he was gone
Were the happiest days of my life"
I look over to my father staring at me
And I'm frightened by that evil grin
"Has your father ever bruised your body
Or torn or ruptured your skin?"
"Of course he has, more than once
He did it every night
The pain was so unbearable
I couldn't sleep until the break of light"
"When was the last time you were beat?"
"The day he was taken away
I still have the bruises on my body
They seem to get worse by the day"
"Where on your body are the bruises?"
"On my arm and on my side
The bruises are so visible
Almost impossible to hide"
"Can you provide the evidence
For all of us to see?"
I pull my sleeves up all the way
Exposing my true beauty
My arm was blue and purple
And covered in signs of depression
My beautiful cuts along my arm
My beautiful obsession
The court room was so quiet
Amazed at what they see
I never should have exposed myself
Showed all that's really me
"What about these countless cuts?
Did he do this to you too?"
"No, that's self-inflicted pain
That I like to put myself through
I guess you can say its because of my dad
That's what the pain forces me to do
He always puts me through so much pain
Despite everything I've been through
I really can't keep living
If he stays with my mom and I
He's turned my life upside down
He constantly makes me cry"
I turn to my dad with tears in my eyes
And continue to yell in his face
All the while I was thinking to myself
'I want to leave this place'
"Dad, you know that I'm in so much pain
You see me when I cry
I know because as you're beating me
You're looking me straight in the eye
I thought you've changed but you haven't
You can't possibly be my dad
Look at me dad, don't look away
You're the cause of me being sad"
My dad begins to speak to me
As though about to cry
He says "Baby I love you so much
Don't do this to me, I'll die"
"I don't think you get it dad
That's really what I'm hoping for
I want my life to be the least bit normal
Like it was 6 years before"
"Your honor, please put him away
He cannot come back into my life
I'm afraid of what he can do to me
Or what he can possibly do to his wife
I don't want to see him ever again
Please lock him up in jail
Please have him beat like I once was
Don't even set a bail
Sitting in a dungeon, in court
I see the lawyer stand up and shout
"May the main witness please step forth"
Heads turn as a fragile figure stands up
That figure is none other than me
It's time to show the world my beautiful ways
Show all that I can only see
Moments after I'm bombarded with questions
All about my father's horrid ways
Without a choice I'm forced to look back
And remember those dreadful days
"I've been beaten since I was 10 years old
What more is there to say
He made my life a living hell
And I prayed he'd go away"
"And he did when you were 13 years old?"
"Yeah, and with him left my strife
Those three short years that he was gone
Were the happiest days of my life"
I look over to my father staring at me
And I'm frightened by that evil grin
"Has your father ever bruised your body
Or torn or ruptured your skin?"
"Of course he has, more than once
He did it every night
The pain was so unbearable
I couldn't sleep until the break of light"
"When was the last time you were beat?"
"The day he was taken away
I still have the bruises on my body
They seem to get worse by the day"
"Where on your body are the bruises?"
"On my arm and on my side
The bruises are so visible
Almost impossible to hide"
"Can you provide the evidence
For all of us to see?"
I pull my sleeves up all the way
Exposing my true beauty
My arm was blue and purple
And covered in signs of depression
My beautiful cuts along my arm
My beautiful obsession
The court room was so quiet
Amazed at what they see
I never should have exposed myself
Showed all that's really me
"What about these countless cuts?
Did he do this to you too?"
"No, that's self-inflicted pain
That I like to put myself through
I guess you can say its because of my dad
That's what the pain forces me to do
He always puts me through so much pain
Despite everything I've been through
I really can't keep living
If he stays with my mom and I
He's turned my life upside down
He constantly makes me cry"
I turn to my dad with tears in my eyes
And continue to yell in his face
All the while I was thinking to myself
'I want to leave this place'
"Dad, you know that I'm in so much pain
You see me when I cry
I know because as you're beating me
You're looking me straight in the eye
I thought you've changed but you haven't
You can't possibly be my dad
Look at me dad, don't look away
You're the cause of me being sad"
My dad begins to speak to me
As though about to cry
He says "Baby I love you so much
Don't do this to me, I'll die"
"I don't think you get it dad
That's really what I'm hoping for
I want my life to be the least bit normal
Like it was 6 years before"
"Your honor, please put him away
He cannot come back into my life
I'm afraid of what he can do to me
Or what he can possibly do to his wife
I don't want to see him ever again
Please lock him up in jail
Please have him beat like I once was
Don't even set a bail