A Regret Unforgotten

It's easier for me to forget you
than it is to go back
and realize everything that it is
you would have made me miss.

As easy as it seems this life I may lead
it comes with a weight
only bearable to those who don't need
all of the things I do,
all of the things I need,
From you.

I try to forget you,
weeks go by with no reply
it all seems harmless
with very little progress,
everything is just
there, to be forgotten.

If only I could remember you,
I wouldn't have to go back
to all the regrets,
and everything I wish;
would have gone towards
your caress.

I tried to call you
and had no answer,
if only you would listen;
maybe then you would bother
to experience the pain
that has been driven.

From within my heart and through
the darkness.
Only you would understand,
only you could understand.

I should have tried harder,
instead I was useless and lazy,
for all the things I thought I did
I could have done better.

I'm here now with no recollection
of the memories that followed.
I look at your photographs
so happy and perfect;
a married couple,
a beautiful child,
a wonderful evening
so happy and alive,
all of which I shall not reside,
lonely and forgotten,
this I will have to bare,
excluded from you;
this life, just so unfair.