What To Do?

I live, yet I'm not alive
I breathe, yet I can't catch my breath
I exist, yet I don't have an existence
I'm heading straight for a cerebral death

I'm being betrayed by my emotions
Over and over again
I could be the stereotypical lost cause
Who can only be saved by learning Zen

Pain in my heart
Suffering in my soul
Loneliness spreading like a disease
I'll never be whole

Time
Space
Darkness
Overpower me and take me away
Not tomorrow, but rather today

I'm beginning to wonder
How many days it'll take
For me to finally pass away
And leave even more suffering in my wake

They wouldn't see it coming, not by far
Those people who think they know me
One might, but she'll be too late
I'd do it before she realized it, for she wouldn't agree

The thought gets closer and closer
And seems more alive with each passing day
The only thing left of me in this world is my body
For my heart and soul are already in decay

Time
Space
Darkness
You all seem willing, so stop chilling
And start the killing

If death is the ultimate freedom
Then why is everyone still alive
I can't even fathom the reason
But everyone around me seem keen to survive

When will the bright light at the end of the tunnel
Embrace me and take me away from all sorrow
If I should lend fate a helping hand
Isn't it smart to do it on the morrow?

I should do it, end my life now
But something still keeps me here
It's her, I just know it for sure
Let it be clear, my dear, YOUR sorrow is my worst fear

Time
Space
Darkness
Lend me your strength and power
For it is clearly not yet my hour...