This Dying Heart

It hurts to lie to you
And tell you that I’m fine
I wish I could tell you it its no big deal
And not have to feed you another line.

The words are pebbled
Crimson rubies on my skin
I promise I don’t wish I’m dead
But life is wearing me thin

Seems no one ever thought this far ahead
Sixteen years and falling apart
They all claimed she was perfectly healthy
But how long could she live with this dying heart?

The blood drips down
And droplets roll down my thighs
It might hurt to see or hear
My pain would cause your cries

The cool blade cuts quickly
Sending shivers down my spine
Everything is clearer
Control is finally mine

Seems no one ever thought this far ahead
Sixteen years and falling apart
They all thought she was fine
But how long could she live with this dying heart?

Liar written on my hip
Next to fat, a common thought
I only use the blades edge
And I’m careful not to get caught

Did you fail your parents every day?
You claim you did everything I did
Did they yell at you all the time?
I know I’m not the best kid

Seems no one ever thought this far ahead
Sixteen years and falling apart
They all figured it was a phase
But how long could she live with this dying heart?

I want you smiling
I want you proud
All because of me
Even though I’m loud

I want to draw you a picture
A picture with a twist
I want to draw it with a razor blade
I want to draw it on my wrist

Seems no one ever thought this far ahead
Sixteen years and falling apart
They just learned how wrong they were
She couldn’t live with this dying heart