The Life I Wish I Never Had To Live

Nervous breakdown.
Panic attack.
Every emotion is crashing down.
The shattering sound they make,
As they hit the cold, concrete floor,
Rattles through the head,
Of a lost soul.
Walking on a thin line,
Afraid of falling off,
Hoping to make it to the other end,
To find out where I belong.
School is a nightmare.
Home is Hell.
My thoughts are Satan.
So I might as well die.
No where to go,
No where to belong,
Not even my bedroom is safe.
Skating on thin ice,
Cracking noise is heard.
As I look down at my feet,
I see it all crumble beneath me.

I dont understand these feelings,
That occur all the time.
They rush through my brain,
As if they were a rapid river.
No poem, nor band or lyrics can help,
Because it's too late now.
Misery has gotten the best of me,
And there's no turning back,
No carrying on,
No forgetting the past.
Only tears of pain,
And screams of anger.
All that's left is a person who's dead to the world,
A soul filled with no emotions,
A mind filled with no thoughts.

The words and memories are always there,
And never forgotten in the past.
They are what haunts me,
Every night and day.
Like a ghost that hasn't yet passed,
Like a stalker who roams the streets,
Like an unbreakable curse.
Forgetting those times are like saying,
"I have magical wizard powers!"
Because no spell or potion can erase them.
For those were the times,
When my heat turned black,
And the sky turned grey,
And my life slowly ended.