Prepare This Night

He is scared to close his eyes
To prepare for sleep
Wishes sleep would be eternal
Knows tomorrow is a new day
Brings back the torment
The laughter
Torture
Wishes they would take him out for shooting
For he has lost her
And they know it
Without her
He cries
Bleeds
Pills, alcohol all will not take the incurring pain
Did this feel like love before?
Were the things she said lies?
Did she realise how I feel?
Questions of despair ruining his few happy memories

He makes his way to the kitchen
His mum sitting there crying
He presumes she is upset
Tears of laughter
She is laughing at him
Tells him he is a failure
A fuck up

He is not shaken on the outside
Looks to be fine
Returns to his bedroom
With the words "Fuck up" carved to his chest
He screams
Cries
Angry at himself
He is a fuck up and he feels the same
All he has loved has been lost
His ex calls him
Curses
She tells him not to do "anything stupid"
After only a day without her
He has accepted his fate
Tries to forget her
Changes in his mind
Laughs at his misfortune
Sweapt away with anger
Taken from this life
Granted freedom
Gripping his wrist as he is given eternal sleep