Do You Think I'm a Poser?

Who are we kidding?
Look at this mask I wear.
It isn't me.
But isn't that the point?

It's ugly, hideous.
All of this black eye-liner isn't enough to satisfy the real me.
The truth is,
I tone it down for you.

If I could have it my way,
I'd paint it on as if I were a raccoon.
But I don't.
I don't because you don't like it.

I'd tease my hair.
Spike it like those "scene girls"
but the difference between me and them is
I'm real.

They look like that to hide the fact
That they are all the same.
Under all that make up and metal,
They are a dime a dozen.

I look like this to
Hide the fact that I am really like how you think they are.
You have no idea.
You don't care.

As long as I am the perfect daughter that you want.
The one who you pretend I am.
You have two other children to be perfect.
Let me be the one that's different.

Let me show the scars that I hide from you.
Let me dye my hair a million different colors.
Let me stand out
and be who I want to be.

But you don't believe me.
You don't want to.
It sort of like a gay boy.
where everyone knows but no one talks about it.

I need you to listen to me.
I need you to understand.
I don't want to be you, mom.
I don't want to live at all.

I'm only here
because I'm afraid.
Of.
Disappointing.
You.