haunting me

Once I let you in
once I let you win.
Now I don't know how to cope
now i have no hope.

I can only scream
I can only dream.
Now the skies are gray
I can't run far enough away.

Broken , bruised far beyond repair
but too hurt to give another care.
Now where should i begin
just wish i could cut you out from under my skin.

Oh i can't breath
don't know what to believe.
I can't smile
feel time slip away for a while.

I can't leave this world behind
but to my feelings you are blind.
Don't know how to feel
can't even remember what is real.

Constantly ignored and living with this pain
still loving you but knowing it's in vain.
My conscience stained black
waiting for your next attack.

I know loving you is insanity
god is this all there ever will be for me in humanity?
Take me home , hold me tight
but no , you've left me a victim for the night.

Once we loved or was it just lust?
once you told me such sweet lies now who do i trust ?
Left to suffer in all my bitterness
but why did you have to leave me such a mess?

Thought with fighting, tiered of tears
sick of loving , taken by fears.
If I close my eyes who would be there
if I cut my wrists who would care ?

Give me my mind keep my hart
it's to broken to repair and I wouldn't know where to start.
Sick of hoping just for it to be shattered
sick of knowing that I never mattered.

Can't close my eyes , to afraid to see you face
not knowing where i stand, not knowing my place.
Crave now just to feel joy
but how can i , all my happiness was ripped appart by a boy.

How can a story end that never had a start
how can a girl like me love when I never had a heart?
I know all i thought was true is just a bitter fantasy
but why will These childish dreams not stop haunting me?