Alone

Alone
No longer prepared to change
Afraid to let you any nearer
Afraid you’ll see within, past the smiles and laughter
Not worth fighting for, not worth the trouble, just wait and see
Once you get inside after digging and digging
Hoping to find diamonds gold or light on the other side
What you will unearth instead is dirt and grime
I insist stop digging! It’ll only end in a hollow cave that will eventually come toppling down
Who to blame? No one but me
I tried to be you, him, and her but came up short
I searched and searched within myself but stopped, the disappointment consumed me
What to do? Nothing but an empty shell
My beauty a disguise, a deceitful fabrication shielding what lays beneath
My charm a performance, my expressions a distraction
At home, I look in the mirror, straight into those false emerald eyes
I see nothing
What was displayed before was an articulately designed mask
Pieced together by expectations and opportunity
Laced together with a smile
So I look back at my vigilantly made façade, and unravel all my hard work
There I am
Isolated, cut-off, secluded
Simply alone
With no one but myself to hold me