Questioning

Is this real?
Can pure joy exist in such a dark place?
Can I smile when the wolves wait outside?
Feeding on love
Devouring peace.
When I look outside,
Do I really see sunlight?
Is it a mirage?
A vision of sweet, but poisoned things
Stained with doubt and hate
Am I starving?
For love, attention, affection?
Should I gorge myself?
Will it all come back up?
My bulimic brain refusing to nourish my soul.
Am I alone?
Do my friends truly care?
Do my thoughts truly matter?
Does God really hear?
Can I ever be happy?