Fade out

Sometimes I just wish I could fade out
Out to somewhere else
Where pain doesn't exist
Where I could be pain free
Not trapped like a pig in a pen
I don't want to be like this
I can't stand being like this but I can't help it
No devil on my shoulder
I don't want to be a problem
But the harder I try the worse it gets
The more people I let down
I want to return to the days
The days where absolutely nothing matters
I didn't have to worry about anything
But if I had a nightmare or not
If I was gonna get mad at my dad
Something stupid but now everything has changed
I know who my real friends are
Not the lying bitch I use to call a sister
I feel like I have been to hell and back
But I haven't yet
I just wanna fade out like I probably should