The Hurt That I Often Feel

Yesterday, I thought I seen the back of your head,
I felt my mind shook as I started to dread,
That you were there,
But then I realized,
It wasn't you.
As I left the airport,
I got into a truck, that was just like yours,
Then all my emotional sores started hurting again.

And later on, after seeing,
That the friend I wanted
To have all to myself in high school,
Already had someone to be best friends with,
I held back my tears,
And fear that maybe I'll never recover
From these emotional issues that seem to go on forever.

And I feel like I can't keep myself together...
Especially when I see two siblings
Who love one another,
Wishing my siblings were close to my age,
Then I wouldn't have ever
Felt like I was in a lonely cage,
Envying those who get to have
A younger sibling jump into their arms,
Whenever I see them at school...

She always felt like a little sister for me,
I want to protect her,
But nowadays, I don't like the way she is some times,
And I feel confused, and lonelier when I see that she
Likes her other friends more than me.
Yet again, more envy,
And I feel guilty realizing it's wrong for me to be jealous
In friendship...

I'll make sure our friendship never ends,
But I know that my loneliness will never disappear,
And I will never be able to reappear,
In school with her again, it hurts,
Especially when I don't have
Someone to share the suffering
Of high school work and gym.
I still feel hurt and sad, everything in elementary,
That made me glad will be pushed away,

And I'll probably feel alone everyday...
Just like the old days, when I cried at night...
And my alarm clock was my nightlight...
Now I need Him, to keep me safe,
And be my light,
Because the hurt that I often feel
Is an inner fight for life!
♠ ♠ ♠
"The Hurt That I Often Feel" (C) xXmariisa23Xx, Mariisa, Marissa Faries