Already Dead

I am immobile,
In my cloud of stress.
I say I'll give more,
But then I'll give less.

I'm being controlled,
Mostly by my past.
I try to let go,
But it never lasts.

I'm stuck in this world,
And with it comes pain.
I'm feeling guilty,
Because I'm to blame.

I'm crying for help,
I just want to sleep.
Let me take these pills,
And please let me leave.

"I don't want to live."
Were the words I said.
It doesn't matter now,
I'm already dead.