I Will Fight

A smile painted on my face,
It seems a happy life,
But something’s not there that can’t be replaced,
By the will to live or fight.
That smile feels so real sometimes,
I don’t know why that’s true,
I can’t tell where I’ve drawn the lines,
I know you feel it too.
At night the demons come to play,
They whisper in my ears,
They won’t come out while it is day,
They feed and show my fears.
They tell me things I already know,
Like how I’m ugly and snide,
These emotions, they won’t dare to show,
Because of my sense of pride.
I don’t want them to pity me,
Or tell me it’s okay,
I just don’t want my friends to see,
Who I really am today.
They wouldn’t guess I’d be this way,
Since they’ve never seen me cry,
But those silent screams will always stay,
To tear apart my mind.
The daily smile will always be there,
Waiting for the night
When tears want to come to the air,
and create a pitiful sight.
In the end I just can’t tell,
Who I am or why,
I will scream and I will yell,
But I will never cry.