I chewed my lip until it bled.

I cant quiet my mind
it is like a raging wind.
rattling my windows
and threatening to come in.

as the rain pelts my face
I mix it with blood.
running down my body
until I am standing in my own flood.

I fall to my knees and wait for the water.
to come over my face.
I cry over the knowing.
that this will be the last thing I taste.

as it washes over me
the clock in my head ticks loud.
I am pressed backwards
down down yelling my last words from mouth.

I can't hear them.
no matter how loud i scream.
it is like I am dead silent.
like I am playing victim in a dream

but I can feel the cold all too well.
knowing this is real.
wanting to save my life.
threeating God that with the Devil i will make a deal.

I never do. I never will.
I give up and lay at the bottom of my sorrow.
the bubble escaping from my mouth,
landing in my wonders of tomorrow.

I cant lay here like this.
I cant let you drown me.
I push up with myy legs.
breaking the surface and sucking in air before I can see.

it is placid on top,
unlike the ocean storm.
mine rages below the surface.
where no one can hear me mourn.

I swim to the edge afraid to be pulled back in.
I make it to shore and collapse.
looking at my completely naked body.
I know I am free at last.

I stand up and walk away from my quiet storm.