Good as Goodbye

My mind's been made up,
For oh so long
I can't say it hurts me as badly as it does you
I can say that doing this to you is the hardest
This is the worst part
I tried today, in the piano room
When we were alone, but the florescent lights
And linoleum lights made me selfish.
I let you clear away the hot new tears
And I let you kiss my lips
I never thought I could make myself leave this
I told you then that I'm going to leave
You knew better than to beg or plead
I'm getting the hell out of this town
You were my only reason to stick around
Im not supposed to be with you,
It's impossible to see you without the confining walls
Of this small town school
On the bus ride home
I almost did it.
I almost said what I should've said a long time ago
I never deserved you, but you saw something in me
You swore I'd eventually locate as well
But now you answered your phone and I don't want to be left alone
And I tell you that it's over, for good
I tell you that you didn't hold me back
And that I love you
And then I hang up,
This is as good as a goodbye
I think of you alone in the piano room with your head
In hands, defeated
I think of our final embrace on the bus ride home
How desperately you held on, you felt this coming
Now you're crying three blocks away,
My braclet on your wrist
And to my surprise I'm crying, too
This is as close as I'll ever get
This will have to be good enough for our goodbye
I can't make myself tell you even one more lie