Seven Years

Seven years; seven sins.
I lust the day I see you again.
I miss your face and your honey hair.
I miss your green eyes, especially in the summer.
I indulge in what I know will hurt me.
I need more even if it kills me.
Anything to get back to you.
I'm selfish and stupid, for not letting you go.
I never stop thinking of you, you're always right there in my mind.
I should let you go, be happy, let myself be free.
That's what they all say but they don't understand what you mean to me.
I'm slow and reluctant to give up old ways.
Weak and apathetic, and a terrible liar.
I'm vindictive and cruel in my need to preserve you.
It wasn't your time, I should have been there.
I take it out on myself in my desperate search for vengence.
An epic of wasted time.
I need to settle, kick down the pedestal.
I need to let them in. But I can't, and I won't.
It's pride that prevents me from doing what I must.
I envy the strength you had, even in your final hours.
I know you'd want me to be strong, but you know how that's easier said than done.
I know one day we'll be together, like we always said we would.
It not the time nor the place we agreed on.
But I know you'll make it worth the wait.