Condemned

Condemned is the way I feel,
condemned to life, to fate.
A continual spin of questions,
already answered.

Condemned is the way I understand,
forced into misunderstandings,
quiet blank spaces.

Condemned is the way I think,
social standards, the needs of others,
bunched up corners and surrounded opinions.

Condemned is the way I flow.
Words dripping down my face,
a river formed through thoughtless actions,
tumbling into rapids, falling into waterfalls.

Condemned is the way I fall,
Air rushing past my face,
Fear piercing my heart.
Free fall.
The final outcome forced onto my eyesight.
Truth but painful.

Condemned is the way I believe.
Honesty is law.
My law.
Compassion is necessary;
needed for survival,
for love.
And to understand is to look deeper than the surface;
Past the lid of the box, through the door to many hearts.

Condemned is the way I know.
Knowledge is what I yearn,
a passionate fire is my weapon,
Fighting for the right to learn.
Wisdom is my calling...
I need that confidence like a blanket in the cold.

Yet I am condemned to fate...
to personality and circumstance.