From Teacher to Student
Wake up, good morning, I’ll bet Shakespeare’s what you’re yearning
Your shinning faces make it clear
You were in the bathroom for 30 minutes Kevin, do you have a bowel condition?
No I will not make any conditions
You’re not expressing your political beliefs you’re just too lazy to stand
Raise your hand
Put that down
Pick your papers off the ground
You in the back- turn around
You know I love to see your beautiful face
The test is not a race
You don’t win anything for finishing first
Not unless you’re dying of thirst
This assignment is incomplete Tyler
There is no way you already looked your answers over
Watching the clock won’t make time go any faster
Good, now check them a twenty-first time
That paper was due three weeks back
New year, clean slate; stay on track
Why is there a phallus engraved in my desk?
I don’t know; can you go to the bathroom?
Yes, you still have to take that test
Wait till free to rest
Why are you late again?
When you think you’re done, go back and edit
I don’t believe in extra credit
Don’t get your hopes up, it’s just a flurry
Take out your books, stay awhile, why the hurry?
“Get into groups” does not imply a social hour
No, you will not be sent home if we lose power
“I,” before “E,” except after “C”
Focus on the task
…I’m not going to ask
Really? You waited for me to start talking to sharpen your pencil?
Excuse me this is English not math, however if you would like, I can divide your average into fractions
Would it kill you to give me twenty seconds of your attention?
You think I like being here?
Teachers just love staying for detention
Hercules is not that antagonist, he’s the tragic hero
Do not, not, NOT, leave an answer blank, unless that is, you want a zero
Lift your head up from the desk
The seat is not a footrest
No you may not go to the nurse, for if every time you kids have me a headache, the substitute would be more your permanent instructor than I
I know you copied Jimmy’s sheet don’t you dare lie
Afterschool help is only on days that end in “A-Y”
Hands out of your lap
I hope you’re not texting
on second thought actually….
I hope that you are
You might want to hold onto that paper; clearly you’re not destined to join the NBA
No, we were too emotionally shaken by your absence to have done anything yesterday
If you put as much effort into studying as you do thinking up ways to cheat, you would know the material anyway
And you’re not the next Picasso far as I can tell
Kindly cease that doodling as well
Thanks, that’d be great
We’re never going to finish the unit at this rate
There is a snack, and then there is a 3-coarse meal
Yes, literature is “real”
The Sparknotes Tale of Two Cities has that same mistake, isn’t it ironic that you should miss that one detail?
I dismiss you, not the bell
Do you write on your desks at home Danielle?
No, you walked farther into the woods
Must you further add to the gray hairs on my head?
Essays in ink and scantrons in lead
It’s a state law
You might have a pop-quiz on Tuesday HINT-HINT
I was watching and that’s not what I saw
Goodgod yes there is going to be a quiz on Tuesday are you thick?
No, allusion does not refer to a magic trick
“Everyone failed” is not a legitimate excuse
Hm. If I went to McDonalds and told them I had the money at home would I still get my happy-meal?
So no, I’m sorry, it’s not a deal
Yes we have lives; do you think there are pull-out beds in our desks?
Good lord.
No, you cannot draw on the board
Pull your shirt up sweetie
Boys like a little mystery
No, my aim in life is not to “make you fail”
The Lord of the Flies was not a character
Must you always fidget?
Just a moment Bridget
Homework re-enforces what you learn in class
Excuse me, do you have a pass?
11:59 is on time 12:00, the paper’s late
No, the curriculum is not up for debate
Alex, you’ve been called down to guidance again, would you keep the down the morbidity?
“Indivisible, with liberty-“
No, the works of P. Diddy are not valid examples of literature
Did you just call me mom?
No, the teachers aren’t all friends
You’re in trouble when this period ends
I don’t choose what they put on the regents
“I pledge allegiance-“
Kevin! Do not call Shannon a retard!
Thank God for the comments section on your report card
Disruptive, easily distracted, and then of course the
Pleasure to have in class
Equates to:
I have nothing to say about your offspring
Half a semester and you’re dropping?
I promise, the answers aren’t written on the ceiling
Frankly I find it upsetting that of all people you opt to text your mother
I handed that sheet out a day ago and you already need another?
You’re not going to be able to do the entire thing in the time that it takes me to get from one end of the room to the other
And what exactly was the purpose of throwing that pen across the room?
The custodians are not paid so you can be a slob- go get the broom
John!
John!
John!
Doesn’t it give you a headache?
Yes, you have homework over the break
For God’s sake
You’d all be a wreck if not for spell-check
No I will not “hang on a sec”
Wikipedia is not a citable source
Yes, students have in the past failed this course
My time is not a renewable resource
Don’t forget to read chapter six
I’m familiar with font-spacing tricks
If this were a real fire
You would all be burned to ash
Are you calling me a liar?
I don’t want to know about your rash
Just go to your locker and get the ointment
It seems the due date is on the same day as your “surprise appointment”
And tell all your friends
I would like a box of red pens
From each and every student to account
For the copious amount
Of red ink I have used on your papers this year
Jordan, the wire may be hidden, but I can see that headphone in your ear
Your shinning faces make it clear
You were in the bathroom for 30 minutes Kevin, do you have a bowel condition?
No I will not make any conditions
You’re not expressing your political beliefs you’re just too lazy to stand
Raise your hand
Put that down
Pick your papers off the ground
You in the back- turn around
You know I love to see your beautiful face
The test is not a race
You don’t win anything for finishing first
Not unless you’re dying of thirst
This assignment is incomplete Tyler
There is no way you already looked your answers over
Watching the clock won’t make time go any faster
Good, now check them a twenty-first time
That paper was due three weeks back
New year, clean slate; stay on track
Why is there a phallus engraved in my desk?
I don’t know; can you go to the bathroom?
Yes, you still have to take that test
Wait till free to rest
Why are you late again?
When you think you’re done, go back and edit
I don’t believe in extra credit
Don’t get your hopes up, it’s just a flurry
Take out your books, stay awhile, why the hurry?
“Get into groups” does not imply a social hour
No, you will not be sent home if we lose power
“I,” before “E,” except after “C”
Focus on the task
…I’m not going to ask
Really? You waited for me to start talking to sharpen your pencil?
Excuse me this is English not math, however if you would like, I can divide your average into fractions
Would it kill you to give me twenty seconds of your attention?
You think I like being here?
Teachers just love staying for detention
Hercules is not that antagonist, he’s the tragic hero
Do not, not, NOT, leave an answer blank, unless that is, you want a zero
Lift your head up from the desk
The seat is not a footrest
No you may not go to the nurse, for if every time you kids have me a headache, the substitute would be more your permanent instructor than I
I know you copied Jimmy’s sheet don’t you dare lie
Afterschool help is only on days that end in “A-Y”
Hands out of your lap
I hope you’re not texting
on second thought actually….
I hope that you are
You might want to hold onto that paper; clearly you’re not destined to join the NBA
No, we were too emotionally shaken by your absence to have done anything yesterday
If you put as much effort into studying as you do thinking up ways to cheat, you would know the material anyway
And you’re not the next Picasso far as I can tell
Kindly cease that doodling as well
Thanks, that’d be great
We’re never going to finish the unit at this rate
There is a snack, and then there is a 3-coarse meal
Yes, literature is “real”
The Sparknotes Tale of Two Cities has that same mistake, isn’t it ironic that you should miss that one detail?
I dismiss you, not the bell
Do you write on your desks at home Danielle?
No, you walked farther into the woods
Must you further add to the gray hairs on my head?
Essays in ink and scantrons in lead
It’s a state law
You might have a pop-quiz on Tuesday HINT-HINT
I was watching and that’s not what I saw
Goodgod yes there is going to be a quiz on Tuesday are you thick?
No, allusion does not refer to a magic trick
“Everyone failed” is not a legitimate excuse
Hm. If I went to McDonalds and told them I had the money at home would I still get my happy-meal?
So no, I’m sorry, it’s not a deal
Yes we have lives; do you think there are pull-out beds in our desks?
Good lord.
No, you cannot draw on the board
Pull your shirt up sweetie
Boys like a little mystery
No, my aim in life is not to “make you fail”
The Lord of the Flies was not a character
Must you always fidget?
Just a moment Bridget
Homework re-enforces what you learn in class
Excuse me, do you have a pass?
11:59 is on time 12:00, the paper’s late
No, the curriculum is not up for debate
Alex, you’ve been called down to guidance again, would you keep the down the morbidity?
“Indivisible, with liberty-“
No, the works of P. Diddy are not valid examples of literature
Did you just call me mom?
No, the teachers aren’t all friends
You’re in trouble when this period ends
I don’t choose what they put on the regents
“I pledge allegiance-“
Kevin! Do not call Shannon a retard!
Thank God for the comments section on your report card
Disruptive, easily distracted, and then of course the
Pleasure to have in class
Equates to:
I have nothing to say about your offspring
Half a semester and you’re dropping?
I promise, the answers aren’t written on the ceiling
Frankly I find it upsetting that of all people you opt to text your mother
I handed that sheet out a day ago and you already need another?
You’re not going to be able to do the entire thing in the time that it takes me to get from one end of the room to the other
And what exactly was the purpose of throwing that pen across the room?
The custodians are not paid so you can be a slob- go get the broom
John!
John!
John!
Doesn’t it give you a headache?
Yes, you have homework over the break
For God’s sake
You’d all be a wreck if not for spell-check
No I will not “hang on a sec”
Wikipedia is not a citable source
Yes, students have in the past failed this course
My time is not a renewable resource
Don’t forget to read chapter six
I’m familiar with font-spacing tricks
If this were a real fire
You would all be burned to ash
Are you calling me a liar?
I don’t want to know about your rash
Just go to your locker and get the ointment
It seems the due date is on the same day as your “surprise appointment”
And tell all your friends
I would like a box of red pens
From each and every student to account
For the copious amount
Of red ink I have used on your papers this year
Jordan, the wire may be hidden, but I can see that headphone in your ear
♠ ♠ ♠
sdf