Begin Again

Like I said what is it about me
why cant I just finally believe
I never seem to let myself free
my insecurities wont seem to flee
Im so far lost inside my head
always keeping feeling left unsaid
I feel like Im diving into death
emotion constantly plagueing my breath
all of this istearing at my insides
now Ive run back to believing lies
I cant find my way over the wall
its me who makes me feel small
am I just paranoid or is it true
remembering all I went through
I dont want to have to relive
maybe I really didnt forgive
I just surpressed the emotions
so I didnt have to face self implosion
Im scared to give it another go
cause of all things that I should know
its time that never moves slow
nothing lasts forever is the truth
its stolen my innocent youth
now I live in constant worry
dreading to hear your painful sorry
and excuses to what happened
and my trust is even more dampened
this is why I trouble letting others in
am I ready to restart and begin again