Addiction to Temptation

I must confess I have an addiction. An addiction to the temptation of stopping the burning sensations. Every day I quit fighting it a little more. This temptation is worse than any other. There is no substance that I can quit to regain control. The only way to quit the need is to fully give in to it. Finally giving up.

I can’t do this though because I can’t be brave enough to leave everything and everyone I love behind in this cruel, miserable existence called life.

Too much love, long forgotten. Never to come back. So much pain in goodbye. Even worse to have never said hello.

So again I’ll give in only a little. Just one slight slip up. No one will see anything but a small scratch. But I’ll know how I only went far enough to mark the pale skin.

Faith is long gone. Love is unrealistic. Peace is in death. Fate is all that’s left. Pain is the last to leave. The minute I stop feeling is when I can welcome it all back in peace. Nothing but peace for all eternity. Just lying there, empty and hollow.

No more tears. No more scars. No more pain. No more anything but quiet.

Not even the relaxing feeling of sharp steel separating heartache to soothing nothingness.