It Shouldn't be so Hard

a short story told in verse,
Inspired by Never Had the Courage by Chase Coy

It shouldn’t be so hard to tell you I love you.
I’ve just never had the courage, I guess.
I’m not afraid of what you’ll say,
You know me—I’ve never been afraid of rejection.

And I know you, I’ve known you forever.
Our whole lives.
I know you wouldn’t turn me down.
And I think that’s what I’m afraid of, you know.

I never wanted your pity,
didn’t care for your sympathy—not in matters like this.
What I wanted—what I still want,
is only just real love. Not the fake crap I’ve seen from you,
when you feel bad. When you do that thing you do,
the smile and nod. It makes people’s lives, you know.

I don’t think it would be too hard to make mine,
but I can’t see inside your head.
I only wish I could, if only just so I could see,
do you miss me at all, when I miss you?

Please don’t take your time,
my heart can’t stand the pressure.
It’s ready to tell you, how much I’ve loved you,
how much I always will.

But also how much I wish you’ll come home to find,
that the one boy you can’t get off your mind,
that maybe you don’t want to get off your mind,
is still here, waiting for you,
my heart growing, breaking,
growing,
breaking,
with the tides of the ocean that is you, coming, going,
coming,
going.

So here you come again, I can practically feel it in my bones,
I’m ready to tell you, my tongue hops to motion,
but then the third ring sounds, and I lose my courage.

A day could’ve passed, and a day after that,
before the phone rings again.
But this time it’s mine that shrills,
and I can’t help but get the chills,
When the green button is pressed, and your voice comes to my ear,
it’s like a dream, when I hear the words,

“Every day away from you makes me love you more.”

And maybe it is.